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Wednesday, April 21, 2010

Sometimes, you just know…

… that it’s not going to be your day.

Well, the day began brightly enough. As usual, I grumpily pulled myself off the bed, and began to deconstruct the happenings of last night as I wiped the drool off the laptop’s keyboard. Well, at around midnight, I had been watching ‘Ek Chaalis ki Last Local’ – having heard that it was worth a watch and had apparently dozed off somewhere in between.

(Btw, you evil mind! The drool was not because of the presence of an ‘oomphy’ Ms. Dhupia in the movie. For the record, I don’t even like her.)

Anyhow, I digress. So, I turned my gaze towards my wrist to look at the time and then realised that I have not worn a watch in ages. (No, I don’t have chronometrophobia – the fear of watches/clocks. It’s just that I keep losing them.)

So, I looked at the luminous display of my mobile phone, and my eyes nearly popped out of sockets (ala Jim Carrey in The Mask). It was 8.26 am. There was no way I could shave, bathe, get my dreadlocks in some kind of order, have breakfast, and reach office before 9 am. On second thoughts, I could do all the things 3-4 times, in the time that it would need me to reach office. (That’s your cue, regular reader, to recall the last post written berating the traffic in Gurgaon. As for the non-regular readers, HMPH!!)

Then began one of the biggest exercises in optimization. I had never tried brushing teeth and shaving simultaneously. (Note: It doesn’t save much time, and should only be attempted if you use a good razor.) After performing other morning ablutions that should not be detailed on a blog, I was ready. Almost.

I literally ‘washed down’ my toast with a tall glass of cold coffee, and made my way to the parking lot. After revving the engine, I took off with all the urgency of Narain Karthikeyan Michael Schumacher, leaving a few startled early morning walkers in my wake.

And lo and behold! It seemed that I had beaten the traffic after all. It was 8.50 am, and looked like the morning crowd was still a few minutes away. I pumped my fist in exhilaration, and stepped down on the accelerator, determined to make my podium finish. A few minutes later, having nearly run over a woman who seemed to be training to be the next Usain Bolt (Either that, or maybe she was just running to board one of the infrequent buses to Delhi. Or maybe, Big Bazaar had announced an ‘early bird’ sale and you know… ), I reached office.

I made my way up to the 7th floor with remarkable agility and speed. (Oh, believe me it takes sincere effort to hold open a closing lift door, and step in.)

I entered the office to find it deserted. Huh? Just because the MD is away, these people are chilling out, eh? (Sumit’s law of punctuality: The day you reach office early, there’s no one to see you.) Muttering furiously at the tardiness of others, I plugged in my laptop and opened its lid, to see that the time was 8.01 am.

Yes, somehow my new-fangled, Samsung Corby had auto-adjusted the time and set it one hour ahead. (Blast you, Samsung! We don’t have daylight-saving time here.)

And so, instead of 9 am, I was in office at 8 am. AAARGHHHHHH.

P.S. No, I’m not ‘employed’. The office being mentioned is that of my Uncle’s company. Till I join my job, I am just helping him a bit in setting up some HR processes. So, I’m not even supposed to have fixed office hours. Double AAAARGGHHHH.

9 comments:

Choco said...

ROFL!!!
I can't decide whether I like your ranting posts or your stories better... :))
I did get a feeling that you were maybe going to office on a holiday...

PS: Samsung Corby just looks weird. A friend of mine has got it. I still like my Samsung Beat better...Sleek and sexy :P

Lazy Pineapple said...

heheh..Sumit..poor you. But I guess now you know how to beat traffic in Gurgaon :P

Roshmi Sinha said...

Ha! Ha!

"Sumit's law of punctuality: The day you reach office early, there's no one to see you."

Addition: Whenever you are late... the boss will be there standing right next to your desk/cubicle :)

Nikita said...

LOL
LMAO
ROFL
ROFLMFAO

no other reaction. sorry, not even the slightest empathy/sympathy. it's just funny as hell and sadists like me live for such posts :P

Sumit said...

@Choco... :D I love my Corby, I think it looks fab! :)

@Pineappleji... bilkul sahi. Next time, I guess I'll pitch a tent and camp in the lawn itself. :P

@Roshmi... Yes, that's the corollary to Sumit's law.

@Nikita... x-( YOU SADIST!! :D

Aarbee said...

Ahahaahaaa!!!

I thought you were smarter than to imagine that Gurgaon won't have traffic at 8:50 am! Hahahaaa!

Sumit said...

@Aarbee... :sneaky: :|

Me said...

ROFMLAO..\

Happens when u think U've beaten down the probability of an unlucky day with ur charming luck :D
I would've traded a million if I ad that amount..just to catch the look on ur face ..when the realization dawned on u :P :P :P

NicolaSigel0508 said...

超駭人實錄!!
穿白色雨衣的女人
胎兒的怨恨
背包帶怎麼有紅色的...?
美國被襲-陰陽眼短
值班室遇鬼記