The Thoroughly Enjoyable Lightness of Being

Apologies, Mr. Kundera, for twisting around your story's title into something that you may not even remotely recognize. (Although, there should really be no problem if you can't even remotely recognize it. :D )

Whatever! No title fits better, so I decided to take a bit of prosaic license (to kill) with your title.

Thankfully, good days at work are becoming the norm. While working yesterday, I was a bit scared of barking up the wrong tree, and going rather off-track, but in today's meeting, my thought process was praised, and said to be in sync with the vision of one of the leaders. Yeah, pretty impressive, I know! But I ain't gloating! (yet!)

What made my day yesterday was one of my friends/juniors making it to XLRI, after a long wait on the dreaded waitlist. This chap was a bit down-in-the-dumps till the 'Agony Uncle' act by yours truly. (I ain't gloating even now! So, wipe that forbidding expression off your face! Please.... )

Today, the day's been made by a very special blogger friend - Corinne, whose Everyday Gyaan keeps me rejuvenated. You see, I've been nominated for the 'blogger friendship award'. :D



(Yes, you can frown now, for I AM gloating now. HMPH!)

I would like to thank the autorickshaw drivers in Bangalore, the (expensive) laundry service, the (unpalatable) food, my awesome colleagues, Microsoft (my 'employer'), Google (for creating blogger.com), Hathway (the ISP), Dell (my laptop maker), my cat*, the spiders in my room, and my dear readers, of course, for making my blog more active and readable.

In addition, I'd further like to nominate the following people for this prestigious award: *drumroll*

Scriber - for being so creative and awesome!

Kaddu - for her pragmatism laced with that touch of irony/sarcasm.

Nikita - for the oh-so-brilliant humour, and for allowing Abk, Nik and me to run riot on her blog. :D

Choco - for being so unique, so tongue-in-cheek, and so hilarious!

Shreyans - for taking such thoughtful perspectives each time.

Tangerine - for being one of my first friends here in Bloggersville.

Ishu - for making it to this list despite using a word that I have an aversion to - 'jogging'. :|

Harshad - for being a fellow sufferer at the hands of profs (and encouraging me to try couchsurfing. :P )

Aquarius - for belonging to the "As the Aquarian thinks, so shall the world... in fifty years." clan.

Deepti - for being her adorable self.

Div(y)a - for some brilliant and creative writing.

Sindhu - the name says it all! Hakuna Matata - no worries! :)

*drumroll**drumroll**drumroll*

Yes, that's a long list. But then, these folks are worthy! Also, the list is not numbered, because the names are in random order, not ranked, ok?

Thank you everyone, for sharing snippets of your thoughts on your blogs. :)

P.S. I think I have some kind of psychological disorder. Songs get stuck in my head, and keep on playing in an endless loop. Since yesterday, the needle is stuck on 'Can't help falling in love with you' by Elvis.

Edit: I forgot to credit Mr. Kundera. Thanks!!

Busy-ness!

I like it! Suddenly, someone seems to have reached over, and turned the 'speed' knob of my life a notch faster. I seem to have more things to do, and once again 24 hours seem so short (just the way I like things)!

(No, I'm not a masochist! However, whenever you meet me, I'll display some of my distinctly sadistic tendencies to you... BWAHAHAHA)

Work is starting to become more exciting and challenging. It's an interesting project, at an interesting turnpoint. And the best part is that I get to choose the direction it goes in. That's both exciting and scary at the same time. However, the fact that I'm learning a lot is nice. I just love the company, the coworkers, and the overall atmoshpere which is so conducive to employee development.

In addition, I'm trying to launch a web startup, in collaboration with some friends. Nothing too fancy or path-breaking but innovative and different for sure! After many frustrating weeks when we were held up by something or the other, finally we seem to be getting there. Even though progress seems slow sometimes, and I get despondent, the energy of some folks in the group infuses new life, and I get up, to traverse another mile. (One of them is to be thanked in particular. Thanks KJ!!) I'm sure we'll get it going before the summer is gone!

I also have a confession to make. I am an addict. I think I need to join 'Prison Break Anonymous' or some such society. HELP!! All those who call themselves friends, and all those who don't but are reading this with unbridled joy!

Next week could be hectic, with me planning a vacation this (extended) weekend, and possibly travelling for official work for most of next week. If I'm still here, then hopefully, I'll be able to lift the veil on the startup. Let's see!

...

I was just randomly tracking down the traffic to my blog. I do it to get some weird kicks sometimes, even though I'm not into SEO and stuff.

Imagine my surprise when I found that this blog appears on Google's first page, if one searches for 'Love in December'. Actually, that's the name of a really cute play from IIT Mumbai, and some of you might remember reading a post about it in the past.

I guess I should track down the guy who made the play, and seek royalties. :P

What say?

XLent times!

Thursday was a holiday here in Bangalore, because of the elections. Yes, it is probably shameful to treat an event of national significance as a 'holiday' but then I had strong reasons for not voting (or so I think). Because of so much regional politics, it is difficult to know what is being done by which party, in which state. So, I see no reason to vote in Bangalore, when I don't know enough. All my life, right from school elections to college elections, and to the Lok Sabha, I've voted 'rationally' – taking into account the candidate's profile, manifesto, the party's national plans etc. When I don't even know the names of the local candidates, I don't think I ought to vote.

So, it was a very pleasing feeling to have a day off. Consequently, on Wednesday, a friend from XLRI and I decided to meet up for dinner. Over a Subway meal, we were called over by another chap who is interning in Bangalore. So, off we went and parked ourselves at his serviced apartment. (The opulence of it all staggered me – a TV, a refrigerator, a cook, and an elegant apartment made me shut out the image of my cluttered single room with stuff strewn about untidily all across.)

After watching the Indian Premier League, we proceeded on a lengthy chat session (which went on till about 5 in the morning). Bushed by then, we were dead to the world (and our phones) for the next 7 hours. After that, we decided to go to Brigade Road in the afternoon and grab some lunch.

We got ready and reached Brigade Road, only to find that most eating joints were closed due to the elections! UGH!! So, we spent the next one hour roaming the streets and looking for a place to eat at. (And you thought that man foraged for food only in the Neanderthal or whatever ages.)

Anyway, I suddenly broke that despondently trudging formation that resembled a collection of Manchester United players after their 4-1 drubbing by Liverpool, and made a beeline for a nearby shop. Nope, even though my frame (and my exchange with Nikita) indicates otherwise, it was not a restaurant or a sandwich shop. It was a shop called 'Magazines' and it caught my attention because there was an alluring sign proclaiming that back issues of US/UK magazines were available at only a 100 bucks each. (No, you pervert! I wasn't after 'those' magazines… I was looking for something on football.)

But of course, football magazines were out of stock, so the formation reassembled itself, looking more and more like Arsenal's walking wounded at the end of an average football season. Finally, we found an open restaurant that was called 'Stars n Stripes' but was advertising 'sugarcane juice' and 'chicken biryani' on banners outside. Weird, huh?

Still, food is food, and some (disastrous)pizza, Schezwan noodles, and chilli mushrooms, washed down with chilled sugarcane juice and Thums Up sent us on our way. Of course, the waiters seemed to think that we had unlimited time and were very leisurely about the whole affair. So, we gave them a few decidedly unfriendly stares before we left.

Then, another friend was supposed to join us, so we went on to one of Bangalore's landmarks – The Corner House (that's an ice-cream parlour). As recommended by Bangalorean friends earlier, we ordered for a 'Death by Chocolate' aka DBC which was liked by two of us, and detested by another two in equal measure. Anyway, after some random discussions on DBC, the next argument was about where to go. One of us was very keen on going to a restaurant that had a karaoke night tonight, but the rest of us vetoed the idea and decided to go to some place where we could chit-chat. So, off we were to Garuda mall – where we sat for a while, ate, blabbered away and then decided to leave.

Of course, the damned auto rickshaw drivers had to put an end to what had been an otherwise perfect day. They were demanding totally outrageous fares, and refusing to go by the meter. One of us retorted, "Bhaiya, auto khareedna nahin hai, sirf jaana hai!" (I don't want to buy your auto bro, I only want to travel in it). Those chaps got irritated and started giving us gyaan. We walked off in a huff, with a couple of us constantly turning back, muttering angrily and glaring at them.

But eventually, it was good to get back home and reminisce about the lazy day.

Takeaways:

1. Bangalore is a paradise for book lovers. Every nook and corner has treasures waiting to be discovered. (Someone get those pirated books away, please! UGH!)
   
2. If I had my own conveyance, and my own cooking arrangements, Bangalore would've been the ideal city to live in.
   
3. I suck at air hockey. Gloating over my victory in the first match 4-2, I got thrashed 1-7 in the next one. K
   
4. One ought to do this kinda stuff more often. It was so much fun!
   

Thin is in...

This post is purely in response to one by a Bloggerville neighbour, one called Nikita. (It is strongly suggested that you read her post before reading this one, to get the context right.) The views and opinions expressed are of the writer alone, though he will not be responsible for any kind of trauma caused.

Dear Nikita

I found your post extremely offensive and demeaning to people like me, who (try to) live on the other end of the spectrum. To convey my anger, I am replying point-by-point to you.

1. It isn’t fun when you go shopping and come back empty handed because eleven out of the ten outfits you thought of trying looked like you were wearing traditional tribal dresses worn in Andaman. It is worse when you shopping companion meaningfully glances at the tent house next door, hoping you take the hint. And even worse, when you actually take the hint, but don't like the colour of any 'outfit'.

2. Ditto!

3. When people ask how much you weigh, they expect the answer to be in ‘quintals', and not ‘kilos’. It makes you wish the metabolic process existed (and worked).

4. It is assumed that you are the reason why people (like Nikita) survive on air.

5. Everything, from falling sick to failing an exam is attributed to your weight. Period. There is no other problem that plagues your life besides the excess of a few kilos.

6. When travelling in an overcrowded auto with friends, you are always the one to seat someone on your lap. Once you learn to give someone your seat, people standing just ahead of you stare at you fearfully, as if you'll crush them like a juggernaut if the driver brakes.

7. No comments on this one... YOU WIN!

8. No comments on this one either... DRAW!

9. The word 'starvation' (of others) is considered synonymous with your name.

10. If someone ignores you, they think it’s a perfectly valid excuse to say they just didn’t see you, and must be suffering from weakening eyesight. Innovative. Ha!

11. It is as embarrassing to weigh yourself in front of someone as it would’ve been if you were underweight. Probably more...

12. People in the Metro quite sincerely believe that three of them would've fit in the space that you are occupying, and continue to give you baleful glares till you give up your seat or get off. The former is worse, because they then discover that three of them plus a Nikita-esque person can fit into the space vacated. :|

To add to that, my frame, if you can call it that has spurred on the jokers in the pack of 'friends' that I have.
Sample conversation:
Me: That didn't appeal to my funny side.
'Friend' - You have a spherical shape - and a sphere has no sides... haha....

In this case also, the 'Friend' survived because the 'conversation' happened over chat and not in person.

Still, Ms. Nikita, I appreciate you airing of you concerns, and believe they cannot be taken lightly. (no pun intended)

Hoping for a prompt response.

Sauron

Tears from a wounded sky...

Jagged bolts of lightning criss-crossed the sky like two Jedi warriors battling it out with their light-sabres. Dark, menacing crowds gathered together and rumbled threateningly. Suddenly, without warning, the rain came. It was as if the heavens were trying to wash the earth clean of mankind's sins.

People ran helter-skelter, trying to shield themselves, trying to seek shelter underneath the nearest canopy they could find. He watched from his window, his lips curling in an amused smile, as he enjoyed their misery. He watched, as he always did, when She alighted from her 6.00 pm bus, and walked home.

Today, he had to look out just a little bit longer, because the normally crazy Bangalore traffic does get crazier when it rains. Anyway, the bus arrived at 6.15 pm. She took a little longer than usual to get down, because it was pouring like there was no tomorrow.

She wasn't carrying an umbrella, and he smiled at her futile gesture of trying to protect herself against the sheets of rain by holding her hand above her head. It was like using a straw to protect oneself against the wind.

He moved away from the window, and decided to brew some hot tea, so that she could relax after coming in. By the time she walked home, the tea would be ready. She'd greet him with her customary smile, and he'd smile back at her. He decided to change quickly, before she came in. Since she had the other key, she would obviously be able to let herself in.

By the time he changed and got back, he found the teacup still there, filled to the brim, with the tea grown cold. He frowned. Where was she? Oh, she must've gone to the nearby bakery, to get his favourite muffins. He smiled and shook his head - she was so thoughtful!

But after 15 minutes, there was still no sign of her. He was starting to get worried now. Maybe, she was sheltering at the bus stop itself, trying to protect herself from the torrential downpour. He couldn't see her there. A couple of frantic calls to her mobile phone elicited no response. He went back to the window to see if he could spot her.

There seemed to be some kind of hold-up there, quite a traffic jam. There were vehicles honking, some people gesticulating wildly, and speaking in angry tones. Someone seemed to be grabbing the collar of the driver of a truck that was parked lopsidedly across the street. He silently cursed Indian traffic and drivers who lost patience at the slightest of incidents.

But, this didn't seem like a normal traffic jam that is all too reminiscient of our cities. There seemed to be someone lying on the ground. His heart skipped a beat as he realised that it was a female form. He pushed some unpleasant thoughts out of his mind, and continued to peer out into the darkness. If only, he wasn't bound to his wheelchair!!

Could it be her? NO! His mind shouted. She had no business to be there, nearly an hour after she was supposed to be home.

He sank against the curtain, as he caught a glimpse of a battered body, and a wrist that wore the silver bangle that he had got her last week, for her birthday.

No one saw the chocolate muffin roll into a gutter and flow away with the rain water.

The rain continued to fall, like tears from a wounded sky, even as the wind wailed like a soul in distress.

You'll Never Walk Alone...

"In goes the free kick, and the shot come in, and it's INNNN! Milaaaaan have scored! A goal in 50 seconds for Milan... wouldja believe it? Paolo Maldini, the skipper! It's all gone wrong in the first minute; it's a wretched, wretched start for Liverpool."

"Liverpool could be stretched again... Shevchenko inside the penalty area... he's got Crespo for support! Shevchenko crosses, it's 2-0! Crespo, from close range, has doubled Milan’s lead… It’s Liverpool - NIL, and AC Milan - 2, and this final is over!”

“…pass there from Kaka… Carragher can’t get there…What a pass for Crespo! This could be 3-0 and 3-0 it is! What a goal that is!… and Milan now, playing football out of this world, no body can live with this!”

“…another opportunity… towards GERRRAAAAAAARDDDDD!! A goal from Steven Gerrard for Liverpool! Captain’s goal!”

“Hamann, 25 yards out, doesn’t shoot, but Smicer mighhhhhhhhhhttttttt! It’s IN!! It’s IN!! OOOOOOOHHHH, away for Vladimir Smicer!! Miracles are possible! And oh my goodness, do we have a game now!”

“Step up, Xabi Alonso, to equalise, yes, equalise for Liverpool… Alonso, MISSESSSSS!! But scores!! Mission Impossible has been accomplished for Liverpool!

………

“He’s saved it! The European cup is returning to England, and to Anfield! Liverpool are Champions of Europe again”

“Once a European Champion, ALWAYS a European Champion.”

 

 

Today, as the mighty Reds face another test of time, I’m tempted to harken back to that historic day in 2005, when everything was over, but 11 men wearing Red just refused to lose to a ‘superior’ team. They defied logic, the odds that were stacked heavily against them, and the fatigue that comes with a long season of football, to lift that glorious trophy.

 

That moment was special. Not because the match was won. But because, a team had shown enough courage to not buckle under the pressure, and simply give up. A team had fought back. Even if they’d lost, they’d still have remained Champions of Europe for me, if not the world.

 

Today, I’m sure they’ll put in another heart-warming performance and give it their all! I would be delighted if they win, of course. But even if the result is not in their favour, I’ll be happy as long as they can walk off the field with heads held high, and say that they gave it everything they had.

 

In fact, there’s a part of me that almost wishes that the match doesn’t take on the hue of that historic match versus Milan, and overshadow it. That match was, and is, very very special.

 

I’ve watched it hundreds of times. So much so, I even remember most of the commentary verbatim. Still, it never fails to bring tears to my eyes, and a feeling of warmth in my heart.

 

Walk on through the wind
Walk on through the rain
Tho' your dreams be tossed and blown
Walk on, walk on
With hope in your heart
And you'll never walk alone
You'll never walk alone

Banga-lured? Ha!

Well... William Congreve said, "Heaven has no rage like love to hatred turned" and that's pretty well-said, I guess.

The last couple of days in Bangalore have been pretty disgusting, actually. (Except my awesome office.. )

Auto-wallahs and shopkeepers seem to have taken it upon themselves to make life miserable. Sample some of my experiences today:

Me to auto driver: Indiranagar?

Auto driver: Sure!

Me: How much?

Auto driver: Whatever is a just charge, you pay... 

(*the reasonable charge is 25/-)

Me: (thinking) Wow, finally a nice, old man..who seems reasonable...

Auto driver: You decide.... 40/- or 50/-

Me: :O WTF!!

That adventure over, I reached home in a bus later. Then, I decided to purchase a (pirated) copy of some software that I needed for my crashed laptop.

Me to cyber-cafe owner: I need a copy of XYZ software.

Owner: 200/- 

Me: :O Thanks, I don't need it.

Owner: How much do you think it costs?

Me: In Delhi, I bought it for 50/-

Owner: This is not Delhi, buddy.

Me: Unfortunately for me, and fortunately for you, that's true...

I've never believed in the famous North-South divide and always liked to maintain that it is a myth. I always thought that people made it up to cover their bigotry. But sadly, I think I stand corrected. There are people here who try to fleece you the moment they realise that you don't speak the local language. Of course, these stupid bigots may be few and far between. But then, they are the ones responsible for the regionalism dominating our country today. And yes, if they exist here, they definitely do exist up North too.

I just hope they learn the concept of unity and integration soon enough.

The experience of an amazing workplace and a nice city is being sullied because of some moronic creatures.

P.S. Ironically enough... I work for a team called 'OneIndia' at Microsoft. :)

Banga-lured!

Pretty adventurous, the last few days have been... (No, this is not a conscious effort to sound like Jedi Master Yoda... it is purely incidental that he copied my style in his speech.)

I've been in Bangalore for a few days now, and I love the city already! It's a pretty different experience from Delhi, Chandigarh, or Jamshedpur. And a few key learning points I've gathered so far are:

a) Learning the local language - Kannada, is pretty easy. All you need to do is suffix every word with 'aa'. So sambhar becomes 'sambhar-aa', MG Road becomes 'MG Road-aa' and so on. No, I'm not saying this is all there is to it! It's just that if you manage this bit well enough, you're half-way there. I'll teach you the next half as soon as I learn it myself. Ok-aa?

b) The South Indian food that we are served up North is not authentic, not withstanding the claims of the restaurants. For me, it's a tough choice. I don't like South Indian food, and it costs nearly half as much as the North Indian fare at most places here. So, it is essentially a toss-up between starving myself on North Indian food, and bleeding my pockets dry, or starving myself on South Indian food. (Suggestions will not be appreciated!)

c) Autorickshaw drivers are as cheeky as anywhere in India. I was impressed by the fact that I just had to jump into an auto, and give the driver instructions. The fare would obviously be metered, unlike places like Delhi where these guys grin at you and tell you that the meter is defunct, so you'd have to bargain with them. Of course, my joy was short-lived, when I found that the chap was trying to round off a Rs. 33/- fare to Rs. 40/- just because he'd have to travel some distance before finding himself another passenger. (I resisted a strong urge to 'flip him the bird' and walked on, but not before he had charged me Rs. 35/-.)

Still, there are lots of things that I like. For instance, the weather, the nice and musical lilt of the local accent, and the city overall - to name a few. However, strangely enough, there is lots of piracy here. Every nook and corner seems to have a few hawkers selling pirated movies or books. I wonder what the 'enforcers' charge, to look the other way, and to allow this trade to flourish.

(I'll be writing about my Microsoft experiences later, because I expect them to be thrilling enough to write a few hundred pages.)

P.S. This blog is now 50 posts old. Hurray!

A Winter Morn's Tale

Touched by the icy fingers, 
of the cold wind that blew. 
I began to walk hurriedly, 
to escape the snow that fell anew. 

Wrapping my imported shawl tighter, 
I tried to keep out the cold. 
Still, it's icy fingers touched me, 
and held me in a vice-like hold. 

Hurrying along, I saw a little boy, 
slowly walking down the street. 
His teeth chattered, his body was blue, 
for the cold crept up his bare feet. 

"Poor boy," I muttered to myself, 
I wish, a blanket the poor thing had. 
Shaking my head, I cursed at the poverty, 
that caused him to be thus ill-clad. 

Reaching the haven of my home, 
I almost forgot all about him. 
Not really my mistake, was it, 
that my memory of him became dim. 

He lay on the park bench, 
the next day I saw him again. 
With anguish, my heart burned, 
and I almost felt his pain. 

"Poor boy," I muttered to myself, 
I wish, a blanket the poor thing had. 
Shaking my head, I cursed at the poverty, 
that caused him to be thus ill-clad. 

A passr-by heard me and said, 
"For him, no mortal comfort will do. 
He's dead now, and it won't matter, 
whether he has one blanket or two." 

It was still bitterly cold, 
and the wind was strong. 
Cold I felt, even in my warm clothes, 
for I'd been out fairly long. 

I pitied the poor boy, 
and for his soul I prayed. 
Once again, I blamed poverty, 
and wondered why it'd been made. 

Somehow, somewhere I felt remorse, 
and faced a feeling of guilt. 
'Twas like the pain of a sword, 
buried in my heart, to the hilt. 

I didn't understand why I felt so, 
I hadn't done any wrong. 
Brushing it away like a snowflake, 
I shook my head, and simply hurried along.

Leaving on a jet plane

Tomorrow's the last exam of first year. After that, I can call myself half-an-MBA. Wow!

 

I can't help but be stricken by a wave of nostalgia at the year that just went by. There were ups and there were downs; relationships forged and relationships unforged, and lessons learnt and lessons forgotten. But overall, I guess the year left me more capable of handling uncertainty and ambiguity, and better equipped to handle stress.

 

Of course, it hasn't been easy ditching a cushy corporate job, and taking a longish break to study. I've lost some battles since then, and then I've won some.

 

Nearly a year ago, it began when I checked XLRI's website for admission results and got a message proclaiming 'Congratulations' for my selection for the prestigious Personnel Management and Industrial Relations (PMIR) program. Needless to say, there were folks who were delighted, overjoyed, in disbelief, and a few even plain jealous.

 

There was no platform nine-and-three-quarters, and no Hogwarts Express but the journey was magical with the entire compartment being filled with bouncy, young folks travelling to their dream institute and their indulgent parents smiling away.

 

Ever since then, life's been whizzing by. Somehow, I feel time passes at twice the speed inside these gates. By the time one leaves for a term break and catches up with the outside world, it seems aeons have passed by.

 

And before one realises, one is pulled back into the vortex of never-ending assignments, projects, tests, quizzes, and exams. Till the next term break.

 

However, this time the agenda is different. I won't be able to visit my parents but will be going to a different city as a summer intern at my dream company... Microsoft!! And of course, I'm pretty kicked about it. Two months in a new city, at a new company... two months of new experiences.

 

Plus, I might be able to put a couple of entrepreneurial ideas into practice, if I find the time. Let's see.

 

Of course, the title is drawn from John Denver's song... because I'm leaving for Bangalore on a jet plane, though I know when I'll be back again. :)

 

P.S. Apologies for making this post a dull read... more like a rambling on of an idle mind, but then that's what it is!

Fool!

Aww come on! Don’t tell me that the joke’s on me… not one person fell for that lame joke of discontinuing blogging.

 

I don’t intend to leave Insanity Avenue in Bloggerville anytime in the near future. I had intended to play a prank by claiming to retire. But apparently, I’m the only one who has the IQ of a drunken monkey. :|

 

I still can’t believe that no one believed that stuff about me discontinuing the blog.

 

Well, on the positive side, it means I have some really smart friends.

 

But, umm… if ‘opposites’ attract, then I guess that puts me in the ‘not quite the brightest star in the galaxy’ category. :(

 

Comments? Thoughts? Anyone? (Pleeeeez tell me what I want to hear :D )

 

P.S. Kaddu and Corinne, thanks for rubbing it in! HMPH!!

Adios Amigos

Ever since I started blogging, I think my personal life has taken a major hit. Or was it the other way round? Well, since I seem to have some kind of short-term memory loss (that manifests itself majorly during exam season) and am not in the habit of tattooing myself or sticking post-it notes all over my body, I don’t really remember.

 

However, I think I need to really get a life out there… groove to the beat, baby! Hence, after a lot of deliberation, I’ve decided to quit Bloggerville and devote more time to the ‘real’ world. It’s been great interacting with all you folks, and I think I’ll miss you.

 

Adios!