Let there be light…

Today’s the festival of lights – the entire world is out there laughing, bursting crackers, lighting candles and oil lamps, decorating their surroundings and having fun. And here I am, cooped up in my dreary room, clattering away on the keys of my laptop with a vengeance.

Why? I wonder, do such moments of joy leave me devoid of happiness? Why does the light outside seem to cast even longer shadows deep inside me? Why do I feel incapable of enjoying the occasion?

I don’t think I have the answer to these questions. I don’t even know what brings me joy any more – if anything does. I don’t know if anyone realises the battles that go on deep within, between my warring selves.

Somehow, one of Longfellow’s poems, ‘The Day is Done’ seems just right for today. Sorry to be raining on your parade, but here it is:

The day is done, and the darkness
Falls from the wings of night,
As a feather is wafted downward
From an eagle in his flight.
I see the lights of the village
Gleam through the rain and the mist,
And a feeling of sadness comes o'er me
That my soul cannot resist:
A feeling of sadness and longing,
That is not akin to pain,
And resembles sorrow only
As the mist resembles the rain.
Come, read to me some poem,
Some simple and heartfelt lay,
That shall soothe this restless feeling,
And banish the thoughts of day.
Not from the grand old masters,
Not from the bards sublime,
Whose distant footsteps echo
Through the corridors of Time.
For, like strains of martial music,
Their mighty thoughts suggest
Life's endless toil and endeavor;
And to-night I long for rest.
Read from some humbler poet,
Whose songs gushed from his heart,
As showers from the clouds of summer,
Or tears from the eyelids start;
Who, through long days of labor,
And nights devoid of ease,
Still heard in his soul the music
Of wonderful melodies.
Such songs have power to quiet.
The restless pulse of care,
And come like the benediction
That follows after prayer.
Then read from the treasured volume
The poem of thy choice,
And lend to the rhyme of the poet
The beauty of thy voice.
And the night shall be filled with music
And the cares, that infest the day,
Shall fold their tents, like the Arabs,
And as silently steal away.